Ignoring everything wrong with this love hasn’t changed it and more often than not’s brought it all crashing down.
And we could look in the books and say, “Here; this explains it,” and smile as if it’s that easy to turn things around…
You say you’ll never agree with the things I believe in and everyone in your life has burdened you with their doubt. You say beliefs aren’t a good enough reason for leaving, and I say: It seems we only survived ‘cause we shut the world out.
But what’s the use in complication if she’s already a world away… And what’s the use in conversation when she doesn’t have a thing to say, except for, “You didn’t give me a good enough reason for listening. “You didn’t say what I wanted to hear.”
Well if I could find the words, maybe one day I will.
If we could just speak our minds, everything could be so clear. If only we didn’t have all this baggage to hide…
I’m finally thinking that maybe there’s something to know here (all alone here) ‘Cause keeping everything buried makes me feel less alive.
playground school bell rings again
rain clouds come to play again
has no one told you she's not breathing?
hello i'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
hello
if i smile and don't believe
soon i know i'll wake from this dream
don't try to fix me i'm not broken
hello i'm the lie living for you so you can hide
don't cry
suddenly i know i'm not sleeping
hello i'm still here
all that's left of yesterday
by starlight i'll kiss you
and promise to be your one and only
i'll make you feel happy
and leave you to be lost in mine
and where will we go, what will we do?
soon said i, will know
dead eyes, are you just like me?
cause her eyes were as vacant as the seas
dead eyes, are you just like me?
and all along, we knew we'd carry on
just to belong
by starlight i know you
as lovely as a wish granted true
my life has been empty, my life has been untrue
and does she really know, who i really am?
does she really know me at last
dead eyes, are you just like me?
I haven't written here in forever... I feel like somesort of stranger. But I am realizing that I feel like that in almost everything in life.I needed to publish this but not on my blog. I don't understand why I am so afraid, about going to prom alone. And I am going alone. I went last year alone, and had a decent time. But this year, this year is different, I can't explain it. I want to be happy, and I'm not. I was so excited because I actually thought that I would get to go with Mannie, and I don't. Then I was stupid enough to get my hopes up when Owen mentioned it, and I thought well mabye I could go with him, which would be the perfect ending, to my year. But no, I have the horrid tenandcy to romantacise everything, make it to be a great novel, and in the end it doesn't work that way. I am keeping so much from all my friends that I just can't bear to tell. I can't say I was rejected again by Owen, I can't say I am not happy, I can't say that I wish I were far away, and that I don't understand myself. I haven't even told the majority of my friends that I brok up with Mannie. Last time I mentioned I wasn't happy I was talked about. I am at the point that I think I might need some sort of therapy.
I just finished a year in my red Anne Frank Diary. I hate what I write, I hate what I feel. In a whole year I am still concerned with the same exact things that I was, prom and being alone. A whole year, my god I'm pathetic. I feel stupid, I feel like a failure, I have cried almost everyday for two weeks. I wish I could be happy again.
i forget when words were only words
she knows the party makes me nervous
in this stage we can't get hurt
don't try to understand me
we're too cool to be alone
but, not too crazy to get busted
i found out one life just ain't enough
i need another soul to feed on
i'm the flame i can't get burnt
i'm wholly understated
i found silence in this space
an on and off again attraction
i need such amazing grace
heaven sweep me away
(chorus)
love don't change, don't come around here
don't wear my heart on your sleeve
like a high school letter
don't strain, cuz nothing ever comes from it
and the people we've become, well
they've never been the people who we are
i strap on one horse and pray for luck
i dug another hole to bleed
i know exactly how this works
i need a new feel dirty
i don't need you crowding up my space
i just want to get inside you
you can't believe the heart you save
giving something away
(chorus)
i dreamed that the world was crumbling down
we sat on my back porch and watched it
i dreamed that the buildings all fell down
we sat on my back porch and watched it
in my head i heard the sound
like fifteen strangers dancing
but oh how i want you to know me
oh how i want you to know me
oh how i wish i was somebody else, baby
oh how i wish you could own me
